Today I want to talk about something I have been struggling with. It’s called blooming where you’re planted.
The reality that I’m having to face is that Life can be frustrating. In fact, life is frustrating more often than not. Maybe it’s life stuff I have no control over – like my car breaking down with no cell service, or a boss that is hindering a promotion. Some circumstances in life I cannot control, no matter how hard I try.
Maybe the frustration comes from forgetfulness – like forgetting to pick the kids of up from daycare.
Or your school aged child “forgetting” to tell you about a science project due the next day. Or even forgetting to take the trash out – and it smelling up the garage. (Or forgetting to put money away every month for auto insurance, like I did)
Maybe the frustration comes from impatience. When you’re a teenager wanting to move out of your parent’s house, get a job, start a family. Or when you really want to be out of debt NOW. Impatience never goes away. There will always be something bigger and better.
This translates in to finances, and specifically, our journey to first: get out of debt, and second: retire by 40. More often than not, our finances are a huge source of frustration. Mostly it’s because we have gotten ourselves into an untenable position. While we would love to blame others, the reality is that The Big Guy and I’s mistakes are our own, and now we have to pay the piper.
We have hit a couple of milestones. Earlier this year, we paid off all of our credit card debt! it wasn’t our largest amount of debt, by a long shot, but it was wonderful to not be racking up interest charges every month. We also sold one of our cars (and reduce our debt by more than $11,000 in a single day).
But even with that milestones, we still have six figures of debt. We have a long road ahead of us, that will last just slightly less than 3 years. It’s already so tough, knowing that we won’t hit another milestone until Christmas, but it’s that light at the end of the tunnel that keeps us going.
If everyone could pay off their debt in a day, don’t you think they would do so?
Of course they would!
But, seeing as the average american family has 5 figures of credit card debt alone, they’re looking at one to two years just to pay off their credit cards! What about their cars, students loans, and houses? Are they even saving for retirement? Probably not.
If it was easy, everyone would be doing it!
In the end, it’s the degree of difficulty that makes things worth doing. And that’s why we’re getting out of debt and striving to be retired by 40. Because it’s hard. Because almost no one else is doing it. Because it will be SO worth it!
Blooming Where You’re Planted is taking your situation and making the best of it. It’s realizing that you cannot change all of your circumstances. But the circumstances you can change, you’ll be darned if you don’t make the best of them.
Blooming Where You’re Planted is a 3-part process, strangely reminiscent of the Serenity Prayer:
Step 1: Assess your current situation.
Step 2: Change What you Can.
Step 3: Deal with it.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace
Regardless of whether or not you have faith in a higher power, this should ring true. Right now I am really struggling with knowing that I am doing everything I can, and accepting the things that I cannot change.
I struggle with contentment every single day. There are some things, like our income, that I believe we can change, and I’m working on it, but it takes time. There are other things, like our debt – specifically our car payment – that I can do nothing about right now. I cannot change this, so I have to accept it.
Contentment is kind of like patience. You will never be perfectly patient, because some stupid idiot is going to make you crazy at some point in your life. The same goes for contentment. At some point, you are going to wish your situation was better, or that you were able to take awesome vacations. Let’s face it, there’s always going to be something bigger and better. Discontentment rears it’s ugly head and suddenly you’re unhappy. Maybe it will spur you to take action, or maybe there will be nothing you can do about it.
When that happens, let it go. Don’t beat yourself up because you’re stuck. Focus on what makes you happy – be it your health, you children’s smiles, or cuddling with your girl or guy!
When you take the focus off what you cannot change and put it onto what you can, life gets a whole lot better.
Why?
Because for the moment, you’re content.
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Elizabeth says
I love the Serenity Prayer. I think the struggle is learning to just start where you are, making small changes and gain awareness. Awareness is the first step, always! I struggle with contentment as well. I have to work on focusing on the good, and letting the rest go. Thanks for another great post.
Gretchen says
It is beautiful, isn’t it! And you’re right, contentment is a constant struggle
Shanice says
Great post! I would love it if you joined and contribute your awesome posts at my link party at City of Creative Dreams, starts on Fridays :D Hope to see you there at City of Creative Dreams Link Party.
Randi says
I really liked this post. I admire how you can be so open about your debt and your goals on your blog. Even though I don’t have huge amounts of debt on my credit card, there is still the car/house payments that can be frustrating. Thanks for shedding some light on that. Sending blessings and love:)
Gretchen says
Thank you – and good luck to you as well!
Vanessa Holburn says
When I was in my twenties I had a job I hated (but need to stay at for financial reasons!) and a workmate that made my life a misery (plus a manager who didn’t give a hoot!). I learnt a phrase then that I often return to when I’m frustrated at my circumstances and things beyond my control. It was ‘you can’t choose the way people treat you, but you can choose how you react to it’. It sums up my attitude to life now! #PinItParty
Gretchen says
Ugh! That sounds terrible! But, you have an awesome attitude, and I’m glad you made it through :-)
Carie Spence says
Love your posts, they help remind me that we are not the only ones trying to be debt free and live a simpler life so thank you.
I have pinned your post to the Bloggers Brags Pinterest board.
Gretchen says
Thanks!
Caroline says
I love your way of thinking. We are currently living abroad and even though our quality of life is so much better than we would have in the UK, sometimes it is difficult not to see the things we haven’t got. Trying to take a step back, gain a little perspective is such an essential part to being able to “bloom”. Thanks for sharing your point of view.
Gretchen says
Absolutely – perspective is essential! Thanks for stopping by!